


handy dandy notebook

by orphan_account



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-23 02:12:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11393232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Brad Bradson is always writing in his clipboard. Curiosity gets the better of Taako.





	handy dandy notebook

**Author's Note:**

> I start this off with a disclaimer: this is my first story in over 10 years and I am so so so sorry. This really isn't great, but I love this dumb pairing so much so. Here we are! Enjoy! Maybe!

Taako was a snoop. You could ask just about anyone. His pals, his employer, his coworkers, your dad.

Taako wasn't only a snoop, but a GOOD one. Presented with a locked door, Taako would make a hole in that door and strut on in.

But like all masters of their craft, Taako Taaco had his own White Whale. And that White Whale was the clipboard of one Brad Bradson, head of HR for the Bureau of Balance  
.  
The only time Taako had seen the board separate from him was in the hellscape of Art Goodfriend's dungeon, and _that_ was through the use of brute force from a skeletal fuckin' dragon.

Taako was half convinced Bradson _slept_ with the thing.

Perfect Brad Bradson. Polite, kind. He brewed his own beer! Friends with damn near half the moon? Would always have a polite word, any constructive criticism masked with a compliment, puppy dog eyes, beautiful pecs, nice hair-- anyway!

The orc was constantly hunched over his clipboard, hemming and hawing and TSK TSK TSKing whenever Taako made an insensitive joke, scribbling notes here and there. Not like Taako cared? Or watched him intently while he poked his tongue out of the corner of his mouth while in deep concentration... nah.

It was only a matter of time before lurking and stalking his office paid off big. (Is stalking a crime punishable on the moon? Is this international waters?)

There was a Toilet Emergency in the old defunct reclaimer dorms. Taako would later claim he had NO knowledge of said Toilet Emergency, and he absolutely hadn't saved a week's worth of dinner rolls from the cafeteria and stuffed them down the toilets and flushed, causing a horrible horrible Wet Bread Toilet Flood.

Toolbox in hand, he ran off to go fix the Mess. (also hey Lucretia? Maybe get more employees on this stupid moon. Why does the head of HR have to fix toilet mess?)

Leaving his clipboard alone, innocently sitting on his desk face up. Begging to be read.

Taako crept forward, tip to heel, humming the Fantasy Pink Panther theme as he did. He blinked darkly painted eyes at Brad's comically small Fantasy Costco desk. Everything was stacked and sorted nicely, post-it notes sorted by a weird system Taako honestly couldn't piece together.

A little cork board was on the wall, little motivational posters neatly tacked in. Kittens hanging on, encouraging words, You Can Do It!, the usual shit.  
The neatness of it disgusted Taako to the very core of his being, so naturally he spent five minutes fucking it up.

While doing this, Taako noticed a painting done of Bradson posed with a group of Dudes, all wearing brown khakis and matching polos with the logo of a frat on it. Of fucking _course_ Bradson was in a frat. Probably an academic one too, the nerd.

Taako pretended he didn't spend a good minute or two also gawking at the muscles bulging out of Bradson's itty bitty polo shirt. He slammed the painting face down and continued on.

Taako snatched the clipboard and slumped down gracefully into the massive office chair, spinning with one foot idly while he perused.

Upon this perusal, Taako noticed the clipboard was blatantly a charmed object. It seemed to be both dense yet comfortably thin enough to fit in his grasp. Hundreds of pages appeared like a few dozen pinned to the top with a golden clip. Just like his desk, the clipboard was covered in post-its, highlights, even bookmarks.

Flipping through, Bradson made some of the most _mundane_ notes ever crafted. From a dot graph grading the stew each Stew Saturday in the bureau cafeteria to the daily training regimens of each employee to the progression of team work seen in Dave the Gnome in Dome 6 and Steven from Accounting.

There was an index too? Holy _shit_ Bradson. This is a fetish.

It read,  
Section 1 Bureau Relations  
Section 2 Relic Retrieval Progress  
Section 3 Dormitory Assignments

Taako huffed, bored already. He had expected juicy gossip, scathing comments, snide notes. ANYTHING! Anything to prove that the sickly good good boy act was just that, an act. Yet here was evidence proving otherwise. Taako had never even said three words to Dave the Gnome but Brad here had a whole chart for him!

He thumbed through the massive tome, the plan already a bust before his eyes caught... his own name?

Section 24 Taako Taaco

Intrigued, Taako's long ears twitched forward. He wasn't too shocked that he had an entire section devoted to his horse shit. With his habitual pranking of Leon the Artificer, his general lack of social niceties or courtesy to his coworkers, or his habit of leaving unfinished cooking projects in the communal kitchen at 3 am and--well, the less said about that the better, huh?

Taako expected notes about that. Maybe a graph counting the number of tears he made Leon cry each time they met.

It wasn't quite that.

"Taako's ethereal beauty continues to impress. The Reclaimers held a Candlenights party tonight, and Taako looked absolutely decadent. His hair cascaded down in beautiful golden curls, his dark skin seemed to glow in the candle light... Great night!"

Taako could feel his blush down into his bones. No fucking way. He had to be deep in meditation and this was a hallucination. There's absolutely no way.

The next entry read,  
"Taako teased Leon into crying again. Had to console him while he weeped into my arms. Taako can be a bit mean, I think he forgets how clever he is and this sometimes turns cruel. I'm sure he doesn't mean it!" 

The next,  
"What color is Taako's hair? Is it gold? Bronze?????? Further research needed."

Sorry. What? Yeah, gold-bronze, obviously.

And so on and so on each entry went, cutesy and unnecessarily Brad as the last.

He flipped to the final page.

"Watched the Reclaimers train today. Taako is such a powerful wizard. He's immensely clever, outsmarting his opponents at every turn. He's so graceful, like a golden leaf blowing through the wind. Watching Taako grin as he cast a successful Evard's Black Tentacles, I so desperately wanted to kiss his smiling lips.... An orc can dream!"

What kind of corny shit?

He was interrupted by a hesitant cough from the doorway.

"You do know you could have just asked to read that, right?"

"And where's the fun in that, Bradson?"

Brad shuffled nervously, hand scratching his neck awkwardly and an adorable flush forming on his cheeks.

"Well?"

At that moment, Taako decided to do something very on Magnus Brand, and rushed the fuck in.

" _Well?_ " Taako purred back, slinking around the desk with a distinct sway to his hips. He stopped inched before him, their faces mere seconds apart. Their breath mingled as Taako cocked one artfully crafted brow.

"What did you think?" Brad asked, swallowing visibly as Taako walked two fingers up his chest, pressing his palm down when he reached just below his collar bone, too-tight white shirt starched and pressed and warm under his hand.

"What I think? Hmmm," Taako hummed, thumb rubbing in circles over his heart, "Why didn't you just ask me to kiss you in the first place?"

Brad breathed in deeply. 

"Well. Where's the fun in that?"


End file.
